I’ve said it before, Wedding and Event Specialist Tobey Dodge makes a lot of sense. Her answer to my question completely surprised me and by the way so direct and concise (well written) I included it here with no revision.
Eric: “Hi Tobey: I think in most cases “the more the bride knows (or learns) the more secure she is with her vision for her wedding and the easier she is to work with.” What would you recommend that a bride does to ready herself, and make planning her wedding easier and more fun?”
Tobey: “I think Brides would have a happier time planning their weddings if they and their families do the following:
a. Set aside one day and two nights a week that wedding planning talk is off limits. Most fiancee confide in me along the way that their brides are obsessive about one or more things in regards to planning and it is a good thing to set limits and have a wedding free talk day and /or a couple of nights to center on something else.
b. It’s important to take the time to talk to each other about their priorities for their wedding before they share that information with anyone else including siblings and parents and even friends. Having a clear idea of what atmosphere, pace, feeling, and level of formality they want to incorporate into their wedding ceremony and reception is important. If they present a united front to their closest relatives and friends, then there is less of a chance of someone dissecting and making negative comments.
c. MAKE A BUDGET, not talk about it, but actually make a budget, preferably with some one who knows what things cost and can evaluate what their taste level costs. Not knowing what things cost and impulsively spending thinking that there will be enough money for everything is shooting yourself in the foot and really stunting the possibility of other options you may not have been aware of initially.
d. Many brides have a hard time telling their parents who may be paying for the entire wedding or partially that what they would really want is their parents emotional support but not being overwhelmed by volunteering opinions and intrusive questions unless the bride asks their opinion. That may sound ungrateful behavior to some, but especially with brides being a bit older these days, it’s best for the bride and groom to be trusted in their decisions and let them decide on what’s important to them and not offer suggestions until you are asked. It is a great gesture of generosity to give money and not have any strings attached, but as a parent, you can always say to any raised eyebrows that this was their wedding and they made it their own. A benefactor doesn’t have to have their ego on the line unless they want to.
Read more talks with Tobey:
Sincerely, Eric Zimmermann
DJ/Master of Ceremonies, Pianist and Band Leader
Elegant Music Los Angeles 626-797-1795